


The Imaginary Job

by Actually_Felicity_Smoak



Category: Leverage
Genre: Characters play D&D, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 21:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19028473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Actually_Felicity_Smoak/pseuds/Actually_Felicity_Smoak
Summary: Based on this Tumblr post: https://rainaramsay.tumblr.com/post/185235376225/rainaramsay-image-description-under-the-cut-keep





	1. Chapter 1

Please take this opportunity to imagine Hardison trying to run a D&D campaign with the crew. 

Sophie and Parker spend the first three hours arguing that the printed mechanics for lockpicking, pickpocketing, and all CHA-based rolls don’t make any sense whatsoever. 

Eliot finally manages to explain that the physical combat doesn’t make any sense either but you have to make it simpler so that we can play. If it bothers you, play something different so that you don’t see it as much. He helps Parker create a warlock while Hardison builds a fighter for Sophie. 

Eliot’s bard has a fully filled-out character sheet with 3-page backstory and feats that are only listed in obscure supplements. Hardison did not provide any supplements. 

When they finally get started and hit their first combat, it transpires that Nate has min/maxed the hell out of his monk and can singlehandedly defeat anything intended for a party of level 5 or less


	2. Chapter 2

Next session, Hardison was prepared. He'd found a monster that was immune to Nate's preferred form of attack -- and Parker's, as a bonus. 

For about three rounds, it was going great. Then he made the mistake of rolling his die where Eliot could see it. 

He rolled poorly, but he wasn't worried about it; the creature's con bonus was amazing. "Its head rolls back, but it appears uninjured," he informed Nate. "Parker, you're up."

"Use Eldritch Blast," Eliot said. 

"Why?" Parker objected. "Fireballs are fun."

"Yeah, but this thing's immune to it. And to bludgeoning damage," he added in an aside to Nate, "which is why your flurry isn't doing much."

"But he still hasn't said what we're fighting," Sophie pointed out. 

"He just rolled a five," Eliot said. "And the thing wasn't injured. That gives us a pretty good idea of its constitution." 

"You ID'd a monster off of its con numbers?" Parker asked.

Nate looked sideways at Hardison; it was usually the hacker who exclaimed things like that. 

Hardison just shook his head. With Eliot in the party, he should have known better than to use a creature with a very distinctive con bonus.


	3. Chapter 3

Eliot stood with his hands in the air, waiting for a cue from Nate. Nate stood a few feet back, so Eliot couldn't risk a peek at body language or facial expression without taking his eye off the bodyguard; he had to rely on some kind of audio hint. 

"We need a distraction," Hardison said, in his earpiece. 

"Yeah, no shit," Parker said from her spot on the roof. "You got any ideas?"

"I can happen by and twist an ankle," Sophie said quietly. She was about 200 feet away, but Nate and Eliot could stall long enough for her to get there. 

"Actually, we're gonna let Ethelridge take that risk," Nate said clearly. 

Through the comms they could hear Hardison drop his orange drink in surprise at the sound of Eliot's bard's name. "Ethe -- Ethelridge ain't _here_ , man." Eliot tuned out the rest to focus on the reaction of the mark and her bodyguard.

The bodyguard turned to get instructions from his employer on how to react. That gave Eliot enough time to look over his shoulder at Nate, cocking an eyebrow. _You sure?_

Nate, hands behind his head, gave the slightest nod. Eliot turned back with a tip of his head that said _Your funeral._

"This Ethelridge has nothing to do with it, Ford," the mark said. "Our deal was --"

Eliot put on his biggest smile, and raised his hand slightly, "Sorry, that was just a miscommunication. I'm Ethelridge."

While the mark and bodyguard stared, Eliot put his hands out as if for a handshake, and started towards the bodyguard. Bodyguard shifted his stance slightly, to put himself more firmly between Eliot and his employer; that put Nate off to the side, making him harder to shoot. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, Spencer --" he began. 

But the hesitation and confusion gave Eliot enough time to get in range. He pushed the nose of the gun down and punched the man in the face.


End file.
